Pet hate FAQs
Okay, so I started off this blog saying that we, as vegetarians in an omnivorous world, come in peace and spouting words of hippie harmony among all who eat.
However, this is still Veggie Rant and, to that end, here are some of the questions I get asked that make me want to slap people upside their head…
- Can’t you just eat around it?
Would you eat around a muddy old boot? It’s almost the same thing to me! - Do you eat seafood?
Fish (and friends) is not a #$%^ing vegetable!!! - So what do you eat then?
Oh, nothing, obviously…
- Don’t you get bored?
Food rarely bores me - but hearing the same dumb question for the 17,000th time sure does! Since when do animals = variety? How many different animals do you eat most of the time? Beef, chicken, ham/pork, lamb, fish - right? That makes 5 (though I know many omnivores who’ll stick mostly to chicken and beef over and over again). How many vegetables and fruits and grains and other products are there? How many ways can you prepare them? I ain’t missin’ those 5 left back at the farm, y’all. - So, how come you still own leather shoes?
Well, I’m not gonna eat them, am I?! - How could you not like meat?!
See question 1. Each to their own - and you can keep it. - Don’t you have problems with iron deficiency?
Never in all my 12 years as a vego have I been iron deficient. Could be something to do with getting enough vitamin C to can absorb iron efficiently, perhaps. Just saying… Besides, do I ever ask you how often you get food poisoning from eating animals, hm? Of course not. Why? Because it’s downright rude! It’s like asking an elderly person if they get haemorrhoids - you know, just ’cause they’re old. Honestly! - But you don’t look like a vegetarian…
Granted, not exactly a question, but it’s one I’ve heard a few times. And I’m not sure what it means - is it a compliment or an insult… or both?! Compliment: “You don’t look weak, pale and sickly”. Insult: “So why aren’t you thinner?” And, funnily enough, both versions are compliments and insults simultaneously. Don’t get me started - I’ll be here all day!
What are some of your pet-hate FAQs - vego or otherwise?
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Chocolate penguins?? Sorry, I’m a few posts behind.
Do you ever get positive questions/assumptions? Like “oh wow, you must have a great recipe for lentil soup,” or “what is an aubergine?
I mention chocolate penguins here: http://www.veggierant.com/2008/08/hunter-valley-foodie-places/.
As for positive assumptions, occasionally I get “Your cholesterol must be good!” And yes, thank you, it is - 3 at last check.
Still, like anyone, if a vegetarian moves to Scotland to live on deep-fried Mars Bars, I don’t expect their cholesterol would fare so well.
I’ve actually heard the “you don’t look like a vegetarian” comment before. I’m surprised you’ve never gotten the rant about plants feeling pain and how immoral it is to eat them.
Just remember what it means when someone is labelled a “Meathead: